Karenn_Ng

2012-02-14T01:24:00.000-08:00

sunday:
sun afternoon i headed down to town to get stickys as friendship day present for my new classmates and also the mg n og im incharge of during orientation. see im nice. meet up wif my mg J1s in the evening for outing at one of the J1 hse. had fun!
mon:
it was a short day but a super boring one. initially thought gt learning journey as stated in the handbook. in the end reach sch saw the programme list i was like sianzzzz is 1.5 hrs talk, break, 1.5hrs talk, break den talk agn. went to lunch wif my mg J1s. hmm somehow im more bonded to them. first time saw my classmates omgosh i feel super awkward. hmm mayb i shuld jus remain quiet. coz im nt going to rah rah them up since orientation is over.. haha.. jus feel very fake if i were to act super friendly, afterall im nt one of those friendly type. hehe.

todae is friendship day/valentine day. i said todae coz it alrdy pass the 12 midnight timing. i gt so much friends to express my love to but din haf the time to send every single one of them a personal msg. hopefully they noe how much i love them and how much i cherish every friendship :)

OGL days

2012-02-12T00:14:00.000-08:00

im finally bac to update my much dead bloggie

mon:
bringing the j1s in my mg to do cip at teck whye blocks. initially they were so rude, was super frustrated and annoyed. but aft briefing they gt better. really so much better! stayed bac till late night to do up the farewell cards for them.
tue:
farewell to mg. totally feel touched when i receive a card made by them. seeing some of them so touched till they cried, im really overwhelm to see them grow n get bonded. (alamak sound so motherly) its really rewarding.
wed:
start of orientation when they are all in their own class. S02 is really great. in terms of they are bonded even though they dun really noe each other. really thankful for a bunch of them who take the initiative to lead cheers. coz we ogls are really tired especially when we only get 2-3 hrs of sleep n losing our voice. feel so sry tat i din really hype them up. lucky they did it on their own to make me feel so much easy n relieve.
thur and fri:
camp day, thur night 1+am den bath, den tere is some joker out tere go n climb out of sch gate. zzz in the middle of the night dun sleep go climb gate. den 2 more joker stand at railling n say they too hungry cannt sleep -.-' plz lor, we din get enuff food n sleep n yet gt so many jokers. lucky none frm the class i take. most of the time im alone taking the class, coz 1 of my grp mate needa incharge of games n 1 is on mc.... night games im one of the game master, zzz those ppl are focusing on the wrong things n dun even want to listen to instructions n wanna start game straight... had a tough night. n aft bath needa do sanctury duty (night patroling)..
so only manage to get 2 hrs of sleep. fri morning was so shag. lucky canteen open early n gt sell coffee. coffee really works wonders!
fri was horrible coz i keep having 1 missing person. n everytime its diff ppl. zzzz. i still rmb aft war games we the ogls needa be rubbish collector! the whole entire grandstand is filled wif rubbish! totally disgusted by the sight. finale night. we all went crazy as usual. clean up of hall. clearing students out of sch n lastly the last debrief.

my ogl days have come to an end last night. i really really learn alot during these days. be it frm my fellow darwin clan mates or frm the j1s. i learn how to be more open up to ppl whom i dk. i learn how to facilitate a grp of 20+ to cheer and do the admin work. i learn how to be rah rah at least on my own to facilitate the grp when my clan mate who is grouped wif me is nt ard. most importantly i learn to have endurance, patience n lastly be responsible in everything i do.
despite all the unusual situations n cases n all the last min instructions i still manage to survive thru the 2 weeks. i had lots of fun n also lots of annoyed moments but fun overcome all those moments. i enjoyed myself really much. im really amazed by the inner strength in me that keep me going for 2 weeks. initially i even had the thought of giving up, but there is this strength tat keep me going. hopefully this strength can bring me to greater heights in terms of academic. hoping to apply all these valuable skills to my own life. :)

hmm abit worried abt mon coz im gonna enter a class full of strangers. didnt hear gd things abt tat class. but wadever i dun really care like always haha. coz i always lead life the way i want it to be. gonna get some small gifts for them on friendship/valentine day as a form of intro n appologise for nt joining them for orientation. doesnt matter if they appreciate it or nt coz i jus do my own part which i think its essential. the rest dun really bothers me. :)
gonna prepare my brain for official lesson. aft all the fun its time to make studies fun by scoring all of them!

2012-02-04T23:34:00.000-08:00

woohoo. i slept for more than 15hrs todae. totally awesome! finally get bac my long lost sleep.. den 2nd grandaunt came. but parents n grandma all went out. feel so awkward...

anyway ytd was the very first day i see my mg so high, learning dance and enjoying it and nt forgetting them enjoying the games n start to talk more than the first 3 days. i still rmb tat on the 3rd day which is the last day of talks, they ask wad r we going to do tmr? i told them we r learning the fun dance. n they are like huh? dance?! can dun dance nt?! but im really overwhelm when i see them enjoying it! although tere is this particular guy in my mg always nt doing cheers n dance. sometimes giving us problems. but aft seeing his fb status which says "its nt that bad, afterall" im really happy. realise he gt into pj coz he anyhow put it in his jae form. but still hopefully he is willing to be more coorperative..

2012-02-02T11:19:00.000-08:00

finally tmr is fri. i really need a break coz its jus so tiring. everyday 9pm leave sch. 630am reach sch. 530am needa wake up. sometimes nt enuff sleep but still must be high infront of j1s. 3 days of orientation had passed, first day is like super duper awkward.... ytd slightly better. todae much better. feel very encouraged when i see how they slowly interact wif others. feel super tired now! really need a weekend break! oh n this 2 days the ogls went to blocks to distrubute flyers regarding cip. but the blocks is like very big. n need to find the connected areas. n occational needa gt help by tchers...

2012-01-29T22:08:00.000-08:00

todae sleep till 2+ pm was thinking arghh y time always flies when im sleeping... annoying. i wanna more time to sleep.. no choice but to drag myself up. went to lot 1 to get my papers n 3 trays of eggs to make egg mayo for thur kairos grp pinic in sch... the thought of cooking jus turn me off. but no choice coz cnnt buy tibits/drinks...
finally done wif my nametags.. now needa photoshop malay newspaper article to eng newspaper article for night games during orientation..
somehow feel tat responsibilities overload now. when official lesson starts it will be brainwork overload.

2012-01-29T01:41:00.000-08:00

fri was the shortest day. coz din stay bac for dance practice. went for lunchie wif a few friends. very very long since we last had lunch together aft sch... and ytd a tcher gave us a talk n i only find 1 quote super duper true coz most of the time im like gonna fall asleep.. he said: "dun pray to god coz god is very very very far far far away frm us, y pray to the far far away god n nt study the textbook which is right infront of u?"

ytd morning reach sch ard 7+... *yawns* no coffee for me todae :( briefing on how to facilitates the diff games n stuffs. n some of the time will be bring the class going ard for games... the whole session ends at 5+pm. gosh im dead tired. meet bro, dad, mum n ah ma for dinner aft tat. im like helping my clan mates to make the nametag like print n cut out nicely. but arghh cut wrongly.. zzz tmr needa go bac to popular to get hard orange papers... tink tmr i better buy spare if nt ltr cut wrong agn..

oh n todae is rui en's birthday haha.. my twitter is like flooded coz the fan club keep retweeting.. so happy birthday my dear idol :))

2012-01-26T22:57:00.000-08:00

im super duper sleepy! arghh y everyday liddat?? that shuldnt be the way. geo i still manage to be awake. but during math i totally daydream tere.... plz plz plz dun ever send tat tcher to teach me. i wanna score A for math! seeing tat almost all of my friends are like struggling wif their work, it serve as a reminder to me tat i must make sure i cope my studies y n build up the best foundation! when sch starts i better be those kaisu ppl preparing each lesson before hand. its like a must. i cant afford to fail anything. nt even 1 subject! psycho-ing myself...

for the next 1 to 2 weeks its gonna be tough. coz ogls will be the earilest to reach sch. had to be practice dance aft the new j1s end sch. needa be high thru out the entire day! okie i promise i will try nt to look sian and tired! had dance vetting jus now... i needa practice more on my own. seems so slow when im wif them.. zzz arghh so much to handle.. but still its my choice so i haf to make sure i do it wif my 110% of my effort!

2012-01-25T23:50:00.000-08:00

so thankful tat dad send me to sch todae morning. i manage to get abt 15mins more of sleep. the travelling time totally cut by 1/2 or even 3/4 lor. next time i must earn enuff to feed a car! tat will definately be one of my most important needs other than my phone. totally cant stand s'pore public transport. slow + crowded...
dk y todae totally no energy... had some talk by the sch counsellor. almost fell asleep. upcoming was gp. hmm the topic is ok. video make us go wah siao. y gt ppl liddat de. although abit boring but i still stay awake for 1.5hrs...
went lot 1 den suddenly friend called ask wanna lunch nt. so went pastamania.. home aft tat. had a short break n im bac to sch for ogl meeting. finally the whole dance moves are all completed. all thanks to my dear clan mates! they really put in alot of effort to learn the dance moves frm youtube videos and den teach us. i totally no energy now. like battery flat liddat. hope tmr all our effort will pass the vetting. n tmr gonna be another long long day!
had to constantly remind myself to hang in there n just do it!

2012-01-24T17:57:00.000-08:00

ytd was a crowded day at home. early in the morning gt ppl come n visit liao. den go over to uncle & auntie hse. woah. the yu sheng they make was gross. so many nonsense inside. every yr without fail. whr gt yu sheng put sugar, honey, n some weird weird fruits?? in the end i only ate fried chicken wings. dislike visiting coz every yr sian sian sit tere. adults playing blackjack but we r nt allowed to join. den my cousins all so boring one. so sit tere watch tv n munch on pineapple tarts.
home was super crowded need entertain guests.. oh but this yr is (Y) coz i gt alot of steamboat food! first time sia. everytime left wif veg n meatballs only... this yr very gd i dun really need to ans qns, coz mummy has become my spokeperson (person who help me to speak) hahaha! so nice...

last nite sleep early, todae sleep till darm late. surprisingly todae no relatives come for visiting. (Y) sian still gt hw to do. super lazy.. shall drag myself to work ltr bahs. meanwhile slack awhile. i tink is coz hols quite long become super lazy liao.. tmr gonna be another long long day in sch.. sigh....

cny eve

2012-01-22T21:00:00.000-08:00

this yr i dun haf the cny feel. jus feel tat its a normal public hols for me to take a break :) as usual every yr also nt very looking forward to cny, reason being gt to ans lots of qns and needa entertain guests... mayb the only thing tat makes me look forward to cny is the hols n the cny goodies especially pineapple tarts!!! hehe.. i bet i will keep eating n eating everytime i pass by the living room table...
had reunion dinner at lot 1 dian xiao er jus now. the dishes this yr is super duper salty. i still prefer the food on normal days. n y the yusheng dun haf salmon :( gt some other fish tat is nt nice... alright gonna help mummy do some vacumming later.
and i wish nobody spoil my mood during new year. very suay de so plz dun annoyed or irritate me kays let me enjoy my break. hahaha sound abit demanding, but its gd to haf demands!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR in advance!

2012-01-20T17:06:00.000-08:00

ytd was a super duper long day had high elements in the morning. mange to skip thru agn. :) but had to stand under the scorching sun. totally unbearable. so freaking hot! my face turn chao da... went home n bac to sch for ogl meeting all the way till 9+pm. go lot 1 had dinner wif my clan mates. n still gt commented by some passerby aunties. zzz all these aunties dun even noe how tough a student's life is yet wanna comment so much. reach home abt 10.45pm totally feel like dying... oh n my msn darm stupid tio hack sia. so annoying....

todae very reluctant to leave my bed. woke n i was like wah. like panda liddat. faster go apply cream. but eye bag still tere. if i were to show some kungfu moves, i cn be kungfu panda alrdy.. so happy todae cn join S06 for cny celebration. very very awesome like always! coz all the crazy ppl are ard! go to hall to watch performance. den all the ogls gt so high in the fun dance. n we start to make the whole class dance! hahaha! <3 S06.
went bac to dss aft tat to play bball. seniors vs juniors. stupid sia, gt one irresponsible person last min back out. lucky the coach gif like 2 ppl to us. but still lose. zzzzz too long din train liao. stamina turn even more cui. or shuld i say when i enter pj bball my stamina is like decreasing? was so much better when im still in dss. din saw the tchers, heard tat they were having staff lunch at library. hmm liddat better if nt cfm awkward hehe...

2012-01-18T22:58:00.000-08:00

super tired todae. must adjust my body clock till the timing goes right!
as usual go to sch... todae had career guidance talk den a long break n bio lesson.
first time bio lesson so interesting sia. hope that tcher cn be my bio tcher den i wunt fall asleep hahaha. stayed back aft tat for counseling session tat the sch arranged go in sit listen talk crap.. as how we feel becoming a kairos, den ask family background den ask how we release stress.. zzz how i release stress i gt my ways, talk to u i tink i will be more stress hahaha!

dont feel like going to sch tmr. coz going labador park gt high elements which i hated ever since p5 camp. dk y everytime the programe must haf high elements. go tere to scare urself very fun meh? out of all the high elements i tink i cn only do abit of rock climbing. the rest no thanks.
gonna end sch at 130 den come bac home n go bac to sch agn for ogl meeting n dance practice. 4pm-9pm. oh no. think im gonna suffer frm serious lack of sleep! everyday i go sch like energy draining.... hopefully body clock turns bac to norm.
oh fri gonna go bac to dss to play bball wif yingqi they all. awesome! totally miss dss bball!

2012-01-17T20:57:00.000-08:00

woke 30mins eariler this morning. off to sch 30mins eariler. all becoz i haf ogls meeting. but when i reached tere is like less than 10ppl on time :/ ppl who suggested to meet at 7 come like 15mins/ some 30mins late. zzz wads wrong wif the punctuality issues wif some ppl???
anyway spend the entire sch day roller blading under the hot hot sun. surprisingly roller blading is easier than wad i expect it to be. my balancing skill nt bad lei.
the external vendor tat came to teach us to blade gave a talk. n hmm he was the head of those trainers tat bring us to desaru for cip when im in dss. no wonder he look so familar. anyway he shares how many times he failed in life n how he manage to own 2 companies now. he din even pass psle, din noe how to sms n stuffs. but he still manage to own companies. im inspired n surps on to do even better. if someone who doesnt haf much qualifications can crave his own life wif his bare hands. i had at least 10 yrs of education. n i only failed once. it makes more sense that i can get back on my foot frm whr i fall.

i always say im a challenger + a perfectionist. im willing to take challenges but i must make sure everything i do is perfect!

2012-01-16T23:41:00.000-08:00

came across some videos of dss on fb n youtube. den i start to look bac at my photo albums in my lappy. n i saw the 4opal graduation video. all these really surps up lots of beautiful memories. if nt for dss all these memories wunt exist. miss the gd old days.

i still rmb dss wasnt my first choice, but im quite glad to be in tere. somehow its nt a very gd sch. its like a sch tat ppl critise. but its also a sch tat makes me feel tat i dun haf regrets. i learn alot in tere. frm entering the last express class to working hard n move to the first class. failing subjects tests n exams along the way. having score tat cant even land me in poly during o lvl's prelim. but nt forgetting, teachers tat help me along the way. friends tat stand by me. i still manage to pass every single subjects in o lvls.

i can do it a few years back, i believe i can do it agn this time round. i dun believe if i were to work hard i cant get promoted, i cant pass a lvls! i did it 2 yrs ago. so can i do it now :)

first day!

2012-01-16T20:54:00.000-08:00

attended sch for the very first day todae.
seriously waking at 6am aft sucha long long break is really no joke. the moment i wake i look like some walking zombie, when i look into the mirror i jus saw a very listless me...
thankfully todae its monday, dad send me to sch. if nt cfm late. need speed up alrdy!
feel so awkward this morning, coz during morning assembly, we all dk whr to stand. den the tchers jus put all the kairos (retain students) together n stand at the back.
had a super long introduction, principal talk. split into 9 small grps.
had maths lesson n chem. the maths tcher is a super old man who is going to retire in march. lucky he only take us for this programe. he totally reminds me of the dunearn Mr Tan. coz i dun understand wad he is mumbling. hehe. but i noe how to solve the qns n he let us do the ws on our own. so excited for maths, coz solving one qns aft another the feeling is SHIOK!
chem lesson was alright only. the pace is super slow. but the tcher explaination is like clearer than my previous tcher. at least i catch wad she talking..
so todae is consider a gd start. hopefully everything will be even better when official lesson starts. first of all must wish for gd tchers! n ofcoz needa tell my brain to stay focus. as for this few weeks, i alrdy prepare alot of sweets to make sure i stay attentive in class! :))

im all charged n ready to give all my energy!

2012-01-15T14:10:00.000-08:00

sch is starting tmr. meaning i had to get bac to reality agn. everything gonna start anew. be it the ppl ard u and things tat u gonna do. even cca is giving me a problem too. no idea wad am i suppose to do to change my cca... furthermore im kinda of being force to change coz the sch chooses to close bball down..

i keep telling myself. its a new year, a new start. i need to make sure i put in my 100% this year. coz i cant afford to lose anything alrdy!

2012-01-13T17:13:00.000-08:00

bac to pj to celebrate classmate's bdae. went to ajisen next. n i vomitted coz choke on water. was feeling unwell aft tat. come home gt some idoit attitude frm grandma. so wad if i went to sch jus to celebrate classmate's bdae? its my life. im nt oblige to stay at home jus to look aft daniel. its nt my responsibility. n im nt the one who promise aunt to tc of him. u r the one that gave the promise. u said u wanna wash the bedsheets, but y must u spoil the thing by putting starch n make everything hard and clumping together? u did tat to my socks too n i told u nt to do so, if nt every 2 weeks i need to throw n buy new pairs of socks. n u gonna scold me for wasting $$ agn. but did u think that its ur fault? no! mummy spend so much $ to buy gd quality bedsheet. n u keep spoiling it. y r u so stubborn? so unreasonable? y must u keep spoiling others stuffs? make a mess in others room? jus do it on urs n nt mine!
yes im rebellious! but u r the one that force me to do so! im jus fighting for my own rights! I HATE PPL TO FORCE ME TO DO THINGS I DISLIKE!!!! everytime wadever we buy u gt comments. is nt as though we r putting in ur room or wad. when u bought those useless stuffs, did we ever qns? seriously F up!

2012-01-11T22:29:00.000-08:00

went bac to pj todae. by right we r suppose to haf training. so i went to book the court. in the end...
owell went bac n they r having the open hse thing. saw alot of friends. especially the S06 ppl. somehow i feel out of place. firstly coz i dun haf a booth to promote my cca, secondly i do nt need to attend house meeting like the other J2s. but still gd to see my friends.

had a team talk like agn. something diff this time round is we finally come to a conclusion. aft much consideration, a few decided nt to take part in the A division competition. which means the whole team is nt going coz we dun haf enuff ppl. but obviously tere r ppl who are unwilling to let go. frm my point of view, i find myself very contradicting. i wanna continue becoz i love basketball. but i dun want to continue coz its meaningless if there is no improvements in terms of training n we will be wasting our time. furthermore, asking others to gif up studies for bball is really really unfair. so now bball gals will be a recreation cca which means every week they jus go n play den take attendance jus for testimonial purpose. but for me i needa find another cca :( reason being, they r stepping down on april so jus a few more mths, while i still gt 1+ yr to go. time to consider another cca...

sch reopening soon and my show is ending soon. nt very looking forward. coz it will jus means tat i haf to mingle ard wif ppl agn. im nt born sociable, neither am i very excited to be sociable. hehe. i think being dao still suits me more. :)) n show ending meaning i needa wait till march den gt ruien show agn...

2012-01-09T21:53:00.000-08:00

although im starting sch 1 week later, but how i wish i can start sch together wif my lovely S06? they haf been the motivation to keep me going, to make me wanna go to sch. seeing them complaining abt the amt of work, tchers and stuffs, how i wish i can haf the privilege to do all these things together wif them? really miss them alot.

todae was the o lvl result release day. see many of my friends doing well, i really feel happy for them. it also set me thinking, last yr at this point of time, im also worrying abt my results. i went thru alot before i ended up in whr i am now. faced alot of obstacles along the way. always trying to find myself. but i learn something, no matter how hard u fall, u must get back on ur foot frm whr u fall.

aft all these years, aft so much tat i haf gone thru, i realise im rather good at how others look at me alrdy. comments doesnt really hurt as much as how it used to be. as long as im happy wif myself, others opinion is not important. and sometimes ignorance is gd.

2012-01-08T23:31:00.000-08:00

went out to buy cny clothes todae. send bro to tuition wif mummy coz he dk how go so explore tgt. den rain rain so wait for him to end lesson. next travel all the way to tampines... ate at some jap food court. awesome, especially wif a cold weather, its awesome to haf some hot soup udon! walked ard, bro bought lots of things so do it. finally found a wallet, a nike red one n surprisingly nt very ex its $20++ like walletshop price sia. bought water bottle n a nike shirt. den everything gt 15%. nt too bad. bro bought a vans shoe. hmmm nt interested in vans haha. firstly its heavy, secondly its expensive, lastly the design doesnt appeals to me. den found a dress for cny. yay! no need worry of matching liao. coz dress = 1 piece :)) bought another tshirt frm samuel & kevin. usually i wunt buy clothes wif bling stuffs, but 1 piece for a change bahs. still doesnt haf much liking to bling stuffs hehe. todae is a fruitful + super tired day. only go to one place n din really walk much n din spend alot of time but feel like battery flat liddat. so bought a cup of the thinggy in the pic to keep me going! :))

2012-01-07T16:35:00.000-08:00

yo! im bac frm the ogl camp. shall briefly describe everyday.
day 1:
early in the morning needa reach sch. super duper sian. aft noeing we all r splited into 6 different houses even more sian. lucky gt 1 classmate same as me. den hejiang n kowin same house at me too. so i was like hmm at least gt some ppl i noe. wasnt very bonded on the first day aft some games we gt abit more bonded. day 1 games was ok only, food is also ok only. needa learn 2 dance that the new j1s need to learn so afterall nt too bad. the best time shuld be the wash up time n sleep time hehe. was assign to do night duty on first night so only gt 4 hrs to slp...

day 2:
woke n feel super shag, but everything is so much more fun! like more cheers were done, everyone is much more initiative n we r definately much more bonded! den need to discuss on house performance we all go crazy haha deciding the dance steps... learn the last dance tat the new j1s is suppose to learn during their orientation. total learn 3 dances. day 2 had night games, running ard sch looking for numbers running away frm zombies so funny! haha! get to sleep abit more on the 2nd night.

day 3 (last day):
surprisingly nt very shag haha! recaps on the 3 dances, den 3hrs of house time to practice our dance steps. woohoo totally awesome! we all r so cooperative, n the dance is really funny! had wet games n stuffs. den recap on the 3 dances agn, den go cheer war among all the 6 different houses, den do mass cling cling which is a game. like needa find a partner den cling to each other. den gt a few runners n a few catchers so the runner must go n cling to someone den the other person on the other side must run. n all thks to wesley, i was initially clinged to weizhong den he suddenly go n cling weizhong n still tell me bye. make me run dk how many times in the end still gt caught. needa do forfeit wif 6 others. was made to dance some korean songs infront of the others. surprisingly i did it wif another house mate which also gt caught haha! did the final performace of the dance we created. den gt mass debrief n we officially graduated n become ogls!

learn alot of things frm the camp, had quite a few breakthroughs that i never ever thought i will ever do it. had alot of fun. for once i din hate camp haha! rather looking forward to the actual orientation.

time to catch up on ruien's show. missed so many eps sia... hehe.. oh n im having a super sexy voice right now! need to rmb to buy lots of stepsils for the actual orientation!

2012-01-02T23:10:00.000-08:00

woke feeling more blur todae. had headache den aft tat fever visited me too. zzz i may be free but flu bugs, fever virus plz go away frm me. shoo shoo shoo....
whole day watch show still haven pack my camp bag, feel lazy sia. hehe.
sian gonna go camp camp. hopefully its fun. coz i nev like camp :/ n hope i quickly recover...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2012-01-01T23:46:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

first day of 2012 and im alrdy sick. zzz dislike flu... or rather dislike to be sick! this morning was so drowsy due to medi, den was ask to help in spring cleaning. din do much only cut some papers for laying. den the papers all the shape abit haywire. coz things seems to be double image.. must be medi effects!
get some sleep aft tat n out for dinner at jp. followed by dessert. hmm tat day jus say very long din go jp. in the end recently keep going hahaha!

had my last spending for 2011 ytd. bought a bag aft much consideration. see i din buy things on impulse, i did think abt it! ok must restrict myself frm buying new bags this yr unless spoil.

2012 new year resolution:
to be a better person and grow up in all aspects
to be happier & hopefully ppl ard me to be happy too
lastly achieve wad i wanna achieve!

2011-12-31T19:24:00.000-08:00

one last post before 2011 ends. 2011, a year full of obstacles. a year whereby i had to adapt to a brand new environment. glad to haf awesome ppl ard me to make this year more memorable. this is also a year which teaches me how to overcome things that i nev thought will happen to me, i make me learn tat i haf to recover frm whr i fall. thks to all these obstacles, i tink i grow in terms of mentality. nth shuld be taken for granted. sometimes letting go of some things allow us to see things in another perspective. perhaps i shuld be grateful, grateful tat im still given a chance.

wishing 2012 to be a gd year. a year full of hope and a brand new start for me. wishing it to haf lesser obstacles n challenges. :)

2011-12-30T23:53:00.000-08:00

懒惰虫也有勤快的一面！！！
woke but decided to lie on my bed n stare at the celling for a moment. i wonder when was the last time im so free till i did tat. everyday seems like mad rush! especially sch days. slowly idling ard. on comp, surf ard. this type of life is (Y). oh ya suddenly mrs yeo posted something on my fb wall. shocked... but thks for the concern... also received a few texts n ppl are asking if im ok.. abit funny, but im perfectly fine.. still dk in wad way i sound nt okie haha!
decided to clean clean wipe wipe my room. now its sparking clean! woohooo....
hols so long, 我越来越懒惰了！！怎么办呢？？那就继续live in self denial 吧！ hahaha... 等过几天才回到现实吧！

2011-12-29T18:01:00.000-08:00

hate to be under controlled! im nt a puppet! cant talk sense to u coz u dun even haf the basic common sense! stack 10 layers of papers n the thing wunt be dirty? paper dun accumulate dust? best joke i have ever heard! den y every yr u r nagging nobody change the paper? den y everytime u change the papers u still need to wipe those things? isnt tat extra work? n by working at the rate of the snail means very very clean. den very fast = super unclean? please think before u speak can? speed is depend on one's efficiency! nobody do things half way here n half way tere okie i cant do things in tat manner! please do not touch anything in my room! coz u guys will jus mess up everything, jus bother abt ur own things n nt MINE! ur noe how to keep a room of rubbish n yet still dare to say im nt clearing mine? wtf is tat?

sense of acomplishment =)

2011-12-28T22:50:00.000-08:00

woke eariler than usual todae. look aft daniel for awhile, while parents n ah ma went out for a few hours before daniel comes over. finally clear out all the old clothes frm my waredrobe. woohoo. now gt more space liao. anybody wanna spon me some new clothes??? haha. cleared the o lvl tys too. kept for additional 1 yr thought will use but realise its nt needed thus time for it to be out of my shelves. found alot of familiar things too. sometimes i find spring cleaning in room is like treasure hunting.. found so many things n reminds u of the gd old days.... currently the only messy area shall be my table. will clean it tmr n im ready to welcome 2012 in 3 days time.. oh went to beach rd for bbq crab jus now during dinner time. yum yum...

2011-12-27T21:50:00.000-08:00

spending the past few days idling away as usual. nt idling den go out.. hehe.
i spent my christmas having bau kut teh. nice nice. an unusual christmas dinner...
ytd went to jp popular. aiyo so big so many ppl. n somethings nt available. especially a lvl de reference book. had nice penang style food at jp. totally love it man!
out todae wif J n A to jp agn. walk walk n todae spend de $$ all on food. worth it! coz i rather spend on food instead of buying things which i dun need.... new week liao. left a few more weeks den sch reopen liao. really needa plan my time wisely n really start studying! oh n code of honour (current 7pm show) end right before sch start. mayb its a gd thing coz i cn focus n wait till 6 march for unriddle 2! yay! rui en show to keep me excited for the arrival of 2012!

found a interesting note on the net.
30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself:

1.Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

2.Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

3.Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.

4.Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

5.Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

6.Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

7.Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8.Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

9.Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

10.Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.

11.Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

12.Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

13.Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

14.Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

15.Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

16.Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

17.Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

18.Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

19.Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

20.Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.

21.Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

22.Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

23.Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.

24.Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.

25.Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

26.Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

27.Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.

28.Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

29.Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

30.Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

2011-12-25T15:06:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS to all!

a different christmas

2011-12-23T23:52:00.000-08:00

had a christmas gathering wif the awesomes at yeelin's new hse. omg totally love her hse man! so darm pretty! i wunt mind staying at home everyday if i stay tere! nice time spent wif them. missing them coz it had been long since we all last meet. n i really had fun. wad beats having lovely friends ard for christmas? nothing can replace all the memories we shares :))

christmas coming really soon. so will new year. shall make an early wish n hopefully santa grant my wish? wishing 2012 to be a gd year with lesser obstacles for me :) 2011 really leaves me alot of obstacles nevertheless i still enjoy the memories shared wif my lovely class. will never forget tat coz its alrdy stored deep in my heart jus like memories wif my lovely dss peeps! <3<3<3

2011-12-22T23:27:00.000-08:00

went to rebond my hair this morning. yay nice nice liao. the stylist cut till very suang. keep cutting but nevm will grow bac jus tat its now nt long nt short. sch reopen dk how to tie... went for early christmas dinner. coz dad's friends organize this every yr. todae saw a jie jie last time when im still super young like 3 or 4 yrs old den keep play wif her. now she 25 liao sia. time flies man! looking forward to tmr christmas gathering at yeelin's hse wif the awesomes :) time to take my flight to dreamland.... 周公在等我哦！

out for fun

2011-12-21T21:46:00.000-08:00

start the day badly, coz its nt even my fault! dun understand how ppl cn be so awake at 8am to nag.. zzz disturb my sleep only. finally manage to fall asleep agn despite the naggings. den the stupid ppl living above start stomping. like gt some elephant in the hse liddat. fed up n gt up! met J n headed ikea. woo nice nice food. n nice nice air con wor! cold like siao only. J found her fav room. haha. everytime go ikea, always gt the feel to re design my room. but always cant coz of things tat doesnt belongs to me! headed queensway aft tat coz i wanna get fbt. tsk! price increase sia. become $11 liao. i buy 3 means need pay extra 3 bucks :/ but bo bian no more shorts so needa buy! den we go westmall awhile. omg forget how long i last step into west mall! miss going in in dss uni... the gd old days...

a new skin, a new change

2011-12-21T00:08:00.000-08:00

suddenly feel like changing my blog skin so yea. i guess its also time for a change too. a plain black skin, totally describes me. well im plain simple n black is my fav colour. tats it :)

2011-12-19T18:58:00.000-08:00

went for the most awkward n most heart warming wedding ytd. i cant believe such siblings ever exist in this world! dun even wanna mention coz it will jus pollute my blog. todae out for ajisen lunch wif 2 friends. owell i gt say by my parents for going out for lunch when dad alrdy buy. is like i told u 2 days ago. i reminded u last night. n yet u still forget. i alrdy cfm wif friends den wad? ps them last min? home den daniel jiu come over. make noise aft noise. at first thought ah ma wanna go dental but i tink she went on fri last week. so she make me clear things wif her agn. i throw away things. means no need, dun want liao even put another 10yrs also wunt use it anymore. yet she keep wanna take bac say is dad buy den ltr say is mum buy de. but so wad? i doubt they rmb wad they buy. so pissed off. bro cant get out so he spend the whole day blasting his comp thought he in acarde! all r nth but trouble makers. better keep quiet coz noise tat comes frm ur r extra annoying!

2011-12-17T23:52:00.000-08:00

ytd training was a total waste of time agn. only 5 ppl turn out n only 4 out of the 5 cn train. thus captain ask senior nt to come coz it will be a waste of her time. so join the boys in some part of the training. den the rest of the time is spent slacking? frankly speaking, i rather study den waste time attending training nowadays. reach home receive a shocking call. a classmate of mine de dad pass away suddenly. so attended funeral wif a few. life seems vulnerable nowadays.

todae went to jp wif mummy. stupid smrt train n bus is making me pissed! when we go, we were stuck at the station coz the train isnt coming. tere r announcement mentioning no train service for both sides. aft tat they say resume but train comes in the interval of 6-10 mins. wts... aft much trouble den reach jp. shop ard eat swensen :) yay macbook coming... but needa wait mummy on leave den call the person coz cant log in to mummy's office webby coz its locked for public -.-' well its worth waiting! bought denizen tshirts n a flats... next went to aunty hse n the bus 307 move likea snail... spent the whole entire day out n im dead beat now!

2011-12-15T21:05:00.000-08:00

had been busy for the past few days.
monday had friendly wif dss but we lose. actually i kind of expected it, but im still unhappy, very unhappy wif my own performance as well. wondering y did we even bother to continue. coz things jus seems meaningless.
tue spending the whole entire day at home alone on tue. sorting out my things n my brain. wanting to start bit by bit revision but 力不从心. arghh dislike tat feeling...
ytd was totally a waste of my time! meet up wif J for lunch, initially thought training will be in the morning den i cn go home in the afternoon aft lunch den grandma cn go dental. in the end grandma cant go coz training was in the afternoon. but wif a very disorganized system, we cant even haf training. was travelling here n tere coz nobody bother to find a court... even the timing was also informed the very last min. i really really miss training in dss. at least tere is a clear system, a clear leader... feeling helpless, meaningless. previously batch captain which is my senior is coming bac to help, hopefully she cn help us if nt i doubt we will haf any achievements....
spend todae quite well. very very long since i last went out to haf fun, movie, lunch, kbox. totally enjoy some crazy time wif my crazy friends frm pj. its great to stop my brain frm thinking n be crazy for awhile...

sometimes things are jus nt within our control. 2011 is a year full of obstacles. worrying abt every single thing frm the very start of the year. ppl say god exist, so am i suppose to say he is trying to test how well i cn take all these things? or is he trying to prove tat life is really unfair?

2011-12-11T22:35:00.000-08:00

it had been days since i last updated. wasnt very busy for the past few days, jus doesnt haf much to post. as usual, training, slacking.. nth happening happens. ytd went to ikea, was so overwhelm by the various funitures, how i wish my room look like tat. the setting n everything jus gt me go wow! but had to rush thru, coz dad wasnt patient. hmm perhaps i will visit it agn some day. spend ytd night alone at home coz bro went to camp, parents n grandma went out.. ordered delivery, so i had baked pasta frm pizzahut for dinner. awesome! great to stay at home to slack provided its alone, coz nobody will scream or shout for u to ask u do things. :)
jus now had a short catch up wif yeelin n syafiqah on twitter. coz we were reminded of the britney craze we used to haf during sec 2. aww miss jade ppl so much! the good old days spent wif all the laughter, the crazy moment. although sec 3 n 4 yrs seems rather dull, but i also enjoy the time spend wif them although most of the time we were all mugging hard, but the process is (Y). start to miss dss life.... but i tink the start of next yr i will miss 11S06 too... :(
tmr early in the morning had to hit gombak to haf a friendly game wif dss gals :) brain haven activate, they wanna me to start balling alrdy. still thought cn visit dunearn, but nope going to some cc which i din even hear before.

2011-12-08T22:16:00.000-08:00

sian x1000 ytd early in the morning travel to city square mall to do cip in metro. asking ppl to donate. i swear this cip is 100times better than the standard chartered one! coz gt air con, we get our lunch break and so much more fun. many many thks to one of my friend who agrees to turn up coz she is on the reserve list, she did whole day sia. all thks to some irresponsible guy who din even bother to say he is nt free lucky i ask if nt i will haf died.
todae had headache for the countless times during this hols, woke, bac to sleep. all the way till afternoon. woke but no food, so straight away go help ah ma pack stuffs. i threw 2 big bags of rubbish. if i dun throw, cfm it will be in tere for another 10 yrs. still gt tonnes which ah ma keep saying how useful blah blah blah. so annoying.
idling my hols away. jus keep going for trainings which i find it meaningless. n some cip. everyday only looking forward to 7pm for show.. but saw some news mentioning abt poor rating.. hmm the show actually nt bad wad, at least better than draggy naggy taiwan show...

2011-12-06T23:11:00.000-08:00

sparkles doesnt last long, but who remembers it once had its most beautiful time?
owell it applies to humans too. we are always complaining, complaining abt tiny grainy things in this world, but do we still remember the stories behind all these things? perhaps its jus human nature, we jus dk how to appreciate things tat we haf, coz we always ask for more.

spend the day at home, trying to clear up some rubbish ard the entire hse. but tere r jus so many things tat r nt within my control, becoz it doesnt belongs to me. sometimes im really amuse by how grandma tell me abt spring cleaning. frm wad i noe, her definition of "spring cleaning" is jus removing every single thing frm the cabinet, change the plastic bags n place everything bac to the same old place every single yr. oh please, tats nt cleaning, tat is jus rearranging. y hang on to things that u dun even use for like 10yrs? i bet one day if u guys were to take the things out of the storeroom, u will realise up to 80% of the things in there haf alrdy been long forgotten by ur.
n 80% of those things stored in the hse have nt been touched for at least 5 to 10 yrs. so im some what confuse by wad is really known as "spring cleaning"

2011-12-05T15:35:00.000-08:00

fri training was awesome! coz we train with the guys n the coach give us some instructions on wad to do. is like at least something better than going to training without knowing wad to do and ended up slacking.
sat morning went to visit ah gong. coz its his death anniversary. aft tat home n i sleep till 6+. out for dinner den bac awhile ltr out to ton till ytd morning. coz gt cip. is like they ask us to meet at 5am at padang on sun. we still haf to wake at ard 2 or 3 to get ready wad. so no point sleeping too. slacked at lao pau sat. den went over to padang. stupid tere is barriers along the whole entire road. even the traffic lights sia! after walking here n tere we found a hole so jus go thru n go to volunteer tent. when registering the check in, we r suppose to collect volunteer shirt n the person say smallest size is L. zzz L jiu L lor, cnnt be taking XL right? changed n they pass us breakfast which is so oily. early in the morning who the hell eat fried noodles at like 530am? do all the labour work. stepping on all the mud. n they dun gif us lunch. aft tat still needa clean, move the leftovers shirts n medals to some tent which is so far away. den collect our 10hrs of cip points. totally feel like killing them! we all survive thru the day with jus cans of 100plus! managed to still drag myself home at ard 5+
todae i slept thru till 2pm. had headaches n my whole body is aching like hell. by right im having training at 9am. but was so unwell that i forget to text my captain. in the end she texted me den i reply. so i skipped training... oh yay todae is 5 dec! tonight 7pm channel 8 gt rui en's show!!! :)) finally after waiting for so long!

2011-12-02T12:19:00.000-08:00

finally manage to drag myself out of bed. with this nice weather, i deserve a nice sleep. but no i didnt. coz early in the morning, tere are a few phone calls alrdy. n i finally understand y grandma keep complaining that alot of housework cnnt be done. this cnnt done tat cnnt done. this is becoz she do all the thing half way. wash clothes half way, she go mop the floor, ltr mop half way go boil water. den bac to wash clothes, den ltr gt phone call she talk on the fone but the toilet is fully occupied. worst is i needa go sch ltr yet i cnnt even access the toilet!!!! so annoying!

2011-12-02T01:12:00.000-08:00

finally my dear comp is bac to me. aft meddling with it for the whole evening, it finally work like the past. even the speed remains the same :/ only reformated n i had a feeling it will go haywire very soon. ordered pizza delivery for dinner. coz bro went out for sch thing, grandma n dad out, mummy work. who says spending time alone = lonely? nt for me. night time aunt bring daniel here to visit coz she on leave. but luckily i at home, if nt she come den no one here. although my lappy wunt last long, but still glad tat i had it bac at least i cn surf ard rather than staring at the 4 walls in my room. soon i will get a mac. but dk how soon is the soon. wishing tat i jus haf to wait for 2 or 3 weeks...

2011-11-30T09:07:00.000-08:00

Wow! I din noe my fone cn go into blogger. Sigh lappy spoil isnt a gd thing at all. Last night was horrible, had to make do with using my fone surfing net n going youtube for videos. No funshion no xinmsn catch up for me :( ytd send lappy to repair comp they tell me most likely hard disk spoil if change hard disk is 100+ - 200+ like darm nt worth it coz sooner or later it will spoil agn. So tryig to persuade parents to get me mac. Hopefully i cn get my mac. Met up with the awesomes ytd for pizza. Short but nice meeting. Meeting them once a week is really awesome! Currently rotting in sch waiting for training. Seems like i still haf to make do with my fone for weeks, coz needa wait for repair shop to call n cfm, still needa wait for parents to decide to buy me mac, needa wait for delivery coz if buying den it will be online order. Which means i jus haf to wait n wait n wait...... Done with my ranting alrdy, mayb my next post will be the day i get a comp bah...

2011-11-28T00:30:00.000-08:00

im bac aft a few days of disapperance. owell tats jus becoz i gt a boring life. everyday my job is to idle ard n sleep, eat, breath. nth interesting happen. training on fri with jus 2 ppl. how hilarious is tat? totally a joke. n i had a flu cant even run the 2km coz i cant breath properly. weekends spend at home with comp n tv. n frankly speaking i dun haf much things to do online. surfing here n tere but nth much. all the shows i downloaded all finish watching alrdy. so i guess its abt time i start studying? jus now watch the charity show. hmm this yr very diff frm previous yrs nt bad sia. like alot hip hop stuffs :) n still gt rui en! so long since i last saw her on tv alrdy. waiting for 5 dec for her show :))

2011-11-24T23:24:00.000-08:00

feel so sick todae. or rather since last night. pack my shelves like finally! im left wif my table. finally had a meet up with J,zq n al. had dinner n watched breaking dawn. it jus make me more excited for next yr nov only. the moment i step into the hse i gt shoot for going out everyday by my grandma. hey i went to sch for the past few days. if i gt the choice i dun even wanna wake n go sch kay. tmr going sch for training so i cfm get shoot agn. like wad the hell, bro go out every single day frm day till night n he dun get all this crap. u r trying to prove to me life is nev fair. owell wadever.

2011-11-23T22:57:00.000-08:00

get call bac to sch agn for some briefing. n yuck i totally cant stand ppl wif attitude problem! the oic printed the 2 shifts for the day on 1 paper n they say we cn photocopy to the 2nd shift de ic. n 2 friends nicely suggested that someone like scan to class fb page coz u guys are rushing for lecture n no time to wait for photocopy. n this annoying person come n say "i prefer hardcopy" n is like all rushing for lecture so she is somehow like expecting me n another friend who also retain to help her photocopy yet gif us attitude. hey help u photocopy i dun mind but plz say is properly n nt gif that spoilt gal attitude. we dun owe u a living ok.
aft tat meet up with some of them at bpp while me n my friend who retain go jalan jalan while waiting. had lunchie n i cab bac to sch for a talk. suppose to be some inspiration talk, but i only find it funny at times. hehe. nevm den was called to go to see the rest who r having training. in the end sit tere n do nth coz of the rain. zzzz now i suddenly haf flu n cough. no i dun wanna get sick!!!!

2011-11-22T01:23:00.000-08:00

spent the whole ytd alone. or rather i spent almost 3/4 of the day at lalaland. so nth much to say the only thing i cn say is lalaland is enjoyable ;)
todae woke rather early. meet up wif a few to go to sch for the submission of form to apply for retain. owell really hate ppl hu r late n still haf the guts to tell me 30mins only wad. so u r trying to tell me we reach early we deserve it? u r trying to tell me u do nt need to few guilty? alrdy shall nt let this type of ppl affect me. went to sch finally submitted tat form. saw the rest of the classmates coz they are having their breaks. happy to see all of them agn. but the amount of missing them increase even more. slacked at lot 1 wif the grp tat is undergoing the same situation as me.

该放下的，始终要放下。

2011-11-19T23:21:00.000-08:00

spend my day meeting zhou gong. i report to him more than once a day. he give me my peace that i need. went out wif mummy in the morning went to search for tution but classes yet to open i guess is coz the new J1s haf yet to get their results n start sch. breakfast, home, sleep. woke in the evening, suddenly haf the urge to run. so went for a run. running is gd, give off lots of sweat n forget all the worries in this world. feel great aft a run + a shower. hmm still cant adapt to the idling life. it make me seem so aimless.
realise tere are quite a few changes going on ard me. things no longer seem the same as the past. but we still gt to move on. things changes, memories might fade but photographs are the only thing that doesnt change. however nt every single moment cn be captured. how i wish memories wunt fade n it cn always be saved in my mind.
hmm may sound a bit emo but im really alright. :)

its confirm

2011-11-18T20:45:00.000-08:00

ytd went to sch. feel relax for no reason i guess its coz i alrdy prepare for it bah. reach sch waited darm long coz our classroom is being taken by private candidate -.-' so shifted to another classroom. so the tcher read out a few names to go LT which is those kena retain luh. my name wasnt being called out. den she giving out the result slip. miss my name agn. so i went to ask the tcher. n realise oh she missed out my name coz the one before me also gt retain. so yea. she keep telling me sry sry. i was like its ok i knew it alrdy. i was shock for a moment but owell everything is jus as expected. went to LT straight aft i noe. the atmosphere in tere wasnt great. din noe wad to say to my other classmates so i jus shut up. listen to some talk for like 1 hr+ den release. everyone is asking if im okie. well ofcoz i am. went to watch happy feet wif a few friends. two came to my hse aft tat. n grandma started nagging me infront of my friends. owell thks. received a few texts frm friends. thks ppl really appreciate it.

initially everything was alright but i did feel rather down last night. i appear to be laughing n joking wif my friends n classmates but hmm nt all the time r real. some mayb real but nt all. coz i dun wanna ppl to worried abt me. i hided it well frm my family too. but i noe some close friends of mine manage to see thru me but choose not to say it out n play along wif me all these while. thks for doing that. starting to get over it le.
todae had slight fever. skipped training. went to meet up wif a few of them for lunch while they were having breaks. afterall the feeling of nth to do arent tat great either. spent the day sleeping coz was on medi. i guess i shuld start revising in a week time or so. better nt let myself rot the time away.

2011-11-16T20:32:00.000-08:00

yohole! bac frm my lovely class chalet. had lots of fun n laughter. nt forgetting all the screams whenever i saw a cat or cockroach! oh man for the 3days 2 nights, we saw like 10 cockroaches!!! thank god we haf baygon!
first day reach tere did some cleaning up den unpacking. wait for food to arrive n start bbq! awesome! had water bomb aft tat. well everyone is wet frm head till toe! effing cold! din sleep tat night. was up playing mahjong. den tried to nap at ard 5am. but fail to really nap coz the air con is super duper cold like freezer liddat! no blanket no bed no pillow!! but before we sleep two were having pillow fight, it is so funny.

day two breakfast at ard 7 den bac slack ard chalet, went to wild wild wet ard 12+. gosh the floor is darm rough had lots of cuts here n tere on my legs. but its rather fun. so we were wet agn. went to haf a very late lunch at the food court hmm regreted eating tat. bac to chalet resume bbq coz still gt some left over food. but it turn out tat most r spoiled. alright.. went to the entertainment hub at ard 1+ am wif a few den we had a massage frm the massage chair. $2 for 8min. shiok. the funny thing is the whole entertainment hub is closed meaning no shops n the massage chair power is off. so we self service to on the switch n sit tere massaging.
went to the beach aft tat. nice scenery n nice breeze. bac to chalet mahjong agn den nap. woke at 7 go beach agn arghh i dun enjoy the breeze in the morning coz its freaking cold especially when we went out of the room.

ytd when everyone is packing n stuffs, me n two friends went to sleep on the bed. n tats the only time i really fall asleep. i tink i slept for ard 2 hours. den woke n someone called saying we shuld check out at 1030 but we were like awake at 11am. so yea. before heading home went to white sand to had pepper lunch. followed by train home. fall asleep on the train.. when i reach home aft bathing i go right to bed n i slept till 2am i wake jus to print my last piece of pw!!

todae go to sch jus for pw submission arghh so rubbish! waste time only. aft tat travel to lot 1 for food n headed bac to sch for training. the sun is so hot n im having a headache. thanks to the sun its worst. tink im gonna get a fever soon. now sore throat + headache alrdy.
tmr go sch also nth much. its like receiving bac our results. n its kinda expected 1 mth ago.
owell so tmr is jus the confirmation...

2011-11-12T20:11:00.000-08:00

heyho. so long since i last posted. spend the whole entire thru practicing for OP.
fri was the actual OP omg cant stand the stupid gay examinor. look so sian when we present den his student present he look so happy. biased! aft exam went to vivo to haf tom yam soup wif 5 others friends. shiok darm shiok! aft tat travel bac to sch for training. like sian only so little ppl attend.
todae woke so early in the morning to go rp for some cip briefing. go tere waste time. n still gt ppl bu suang me. each person pay $16 for bbq n is like so many variety lei. haf ur ever think that tere are like ard 30 ppl? nt counting those that last min bac out one? i did ask ur to check but nobody wanna care nobody wanna comment. ask who going n who's nt also nobody comment wad. the rest all ok wif it. y only 2 of ur so special? pissed. aft briefing went to causeway for lunchie. den went lot 1 to find things wif 2 friends. cant find den go 253 market buy n they came to my hse. was crazy-ing away haha.

2011-11-09T11:00:00.000-08:00

Picture

actual

recently the updates in my bloggie is rather frequent. but i dun really haf a interesting life. coz it jus revolves ard sch, eat n sleep haha. ytd the whole class gt cheated to go to sch early. tcher early in the morning send msg say on MC but the hod will send another tcher to see us practice. zzz we practice whole day also dun haf tcher lor. aft tat tech run. only my grp n another grp cn play the video the rest all gt problem. i tink the technician help them solve liao. sch laptop so lousy like always. aft tat went to lot 1 hk cafe for lunchie wif friends followed by mof ice cream!
nice nice. but see pic is for illustration purpose only. look so diff cn. n even before we start eating, some alrdy melted. swensen still better! i miss swensen's banana boat. n nt forgetting my 'never gif up' hmm gonna go sch eariler todae before my training to discuss bbq food wif my friend :)

2011-11-08T02:02:00.000-08:00

as usual im wide awake while others are all asleep. tink i slept too much for the past few days. packing my room bit by bit coz im lazy. at first i still thought i will complete my i&r during this weekend but i spend it sleeping. hmm wanna make card for the whole class but dk wad to write for some so forget it bah. aft next thurs, i wunt get the chance to attend lessons wif them anymore. all those will become a memory. i will miss the ppl, the cheer, the fun and all the nonsense things we will all do together. and also those gonna leave the sch. hmm i tink i shuld stop writing coz it will jus make my post sound so emo. feel hungry now. gonna get some food n slp alrdy.

2011-11-05T18:21:00.000-07:00

had been MIA for the past few days. nt really tat busy but jus tired and lazy. had 2 trainings this week. wow aft 4 mths of no trainings we r bac! n i earn lots of muscle aches! but still its enjoyable. sweating out really feels gd! thurs was awesome. coz now whole day is intensive pw. n best my tcher din come. so we were singing karaoke in class den each grp practice once or twice. den we went off early to watch movie. watched 23:59. nt scary at all. jus some sound effects n 1 disgusting face. n its quite funny too. also met up wif J, al n qing.
ytd hmmm an okie day bahs. had another team talk by the hod of pe. actually its like meaningless as wad i expected. so wad if they keep asking for our opinions n stuffs? they are jus trying to say. no, we r nt going to make any changes. we are going to close down this cca next yr may. no recuitments allowed. even the new J1 wanna join they will ask them join netball. aiya so no point arguing with them luh. had self training wow its fun! haha. home quite late. n ah ma went so late den come home blah blah blah. well ask them to disable training lor. zzz nt like i go out of wad sia.
oh i slept for 18 hrs so shiok hahaha.
hmm news travelled quite fast. my retain news seems to pass to dss ppl alrdy. but owells its a fact nth to hide. n i tink i accepted it quite well alrdy. gonna enjoy my last 2 weeks wif my lovely 11S06. coz next yr wunt be having lessons n crap along wif them liao. i guess the only thing i will miss will be my current class which is 11S06 n my lovely bball mates. really went thru alot with them. so much that nt words cn express everything.

2011-11-02T00:55:00.000-07:00

todae is a slacky day but at the same time a nervous day. had oral presentation rehearsal agn. despite the numerous rehearsal, i still feel nervous. arghh gonna kick away those nervousness. but overall still ok? 20/24 consider an okie score bah. but in order to get an A needa get 21 or 22 so must work harder, be more convincing and nt screwed up my respond & ans component. im jus 1 or 2 marks away. home n sleep agn. this has become my daily routine alrdy. really needa find a gd day to start packing my super duper messy room.
currently having cravings for the above two food. haha. all so fattening.
tmr wunt get to enjoy a nice afternoon sleep coz gt training. i guess its time to get my body to exercises if nt i will only grow fatter n lazier!

2011-10-31T15:08:00.000-07:00

A lvl chi todae. hmm the passage that im hoping it to come out din came out. but well it is still ok becoz i did this before. hehe. so overall okie? A plz A plz hahaha. finally it marks the end of all the chi education i had for 11 yrs!! so happy no need to study for chinese ever agn unless i needa retake. but choy choy choy. jus gif me my A n tats it! out of so many yrs of chi education i only like dss sec 3 n sec 4 chi partly coz of the tcher. hehe. alright aft paper went to delifrance for lunchie with 3 others. n they decided to go to one of them de hse to visit a much bigger dog as compared to yogurt. obviously count me out hehe. 1 yogurt alrdy set me screaming here n tere. worst still its a bigger dog that will get excited n jump on others! haha! home with my iweekly plus some snacks. wow! saw the imaging pic of my idol for unriddle 2. so cool man! totally cool max! so looking forward for that show next yr. well at least something for me to look forward to.

2011-10-29T23:37:00.000-07:00

bac to my little world agn. i spent close to 16 hrs in lala land ytd. so shiok man. i like replenishing all the sleep i lost in the year all at 1 go. sleeping more n more recent. and ofcoz i go more n more lazy. hehe. keep eating n sleeping. ytd sch was super duper short. 11am jiu end liao. but had to be in sch till 12++ waiting for team talk. hmm aft talking the outcome is still the same. so no point uh. ate unhealthy food for lunchie ytd. mac agn. this time round nt becoz of the monopoly, its coz im lazy to walk ard to find food. mac is like the most convenient coz is outside.
todae morning i woke with a shock aft looking at the time. den i realise it was sat so continue sleeping hehe. chi a lvl paper on mon. but i din really do much revision. hmm shall gif myself a target to hit todae. needa be an owl n try to complete at least 7 sets of ws den cn continue sleeping. since i fall asleep jus now. so now must pay bac.

2011-10-27T21:33:00.000-07:00

worked for 1 whole yr, jus to wait for todae to submit the most important 40% of work for pw. i still feel nervous for presentation. todae was the 2nd round of vendor training i tink im still rather tensed up also for q&a part i din do well. more to be done to improve. quite sick & lazy to do the chi practice papers. but i noe i haf to do it, nev overestimate myself.
ever since the day i gt bac my papers, ppl ard me starts to avoid the topic of retaining even my family. i noe these ppl really try hard to nt make me upset. encouraging me along the way. recently bro also gt bac his results, i noe he did very well as compared to the past. really happy for him. but thinking bac to my own situation, i noe this time round i really disappoint alot of ppl. i used to be the one getting the attention when results were to be discuss in the family. but i noe this attention haven been shifted.
frm the very day i gt bac my result i noe there will be a mark tere to constantly remind me of this failure i had todae. an unremovable mark. i thought i can accept it, but no i tink i need more time.

2011-10-26T14:59:00.000-07:00

boo. i had a very very shiok day ytd. lesson was short den printed out my grp report. printed the coloured original copy at home coz if print in sch = $50 siao man, i cn like buy 2 new ink liao. den print the other 2 sets of b&w copy in sch.
printing done, binding done, soft copy burned in to disc. everything nice nice yay!!
1 yr of hardwork sums up in a 100 pages report. a great sense of achievement. next yr see result slip gt A even more shiok!
home n aft dinner n bath i sleep frm like 8pm till this morning! shiok man!
ok gonna do my slides colour edit ltr. hehe.

2011-10-24T21:26:00.000-07:00

its another monday, a monday with blues coz super sleepy. had presentation todae agn. i manage to memorise but happen to forget some along the way. so it somewhat affect some part of my presentation. i tink i shuld be more calm n show more hand gesture if nt im nt gonna score. so ended class at ard 2+ pm. had a nap in class while waiting for J to end lesson n meet her for dinner. my grp is always the one that manage to leave sch the earliest hehe, i tink coz we are all on task :) a few more edits on the slides colour scheme, a few more edits on the written report n we are like 80% done for the whole pw course. the other 20% i tink ard 10+% is done as individual task. n the rest will be the file that we need to submit as a grp n we are done!
meet J for dinner @ mac. wow i forget when was the last time i had mac wif her lei! walked ard. chat chat den home. home jiu noisy liao :/
sometimes i had no idea y the adults are getting more n more nt logical? i hope i dun become liddat when i grow older. as we grow, we shuld grow to be more sensible wad n nt being nt logical in our thinking and statement made.

2011-10-22T02:16:00.000-07:00

had been busy for the past few days. presentations aft presentations. everyday editing slides and report. other than work, my other activities will be eat n sleep. actually i gt nth much to update my blog. coz im leading a boring life. todae receive another bad news that is my cca will be officially close down next yr. one bad news aft another. i tink this yr is the yr that has the most downturn in my life. without bball i tink my life will become much more boring. i lost my only way to vent my stress n anger :( hectic days still gt 1.5 mths t0 go. aft tat will be hols which is also time for me to brush up everything n start everything all over agn next yr.

2011-10-18T23:11:00.000-07:00

todae many asked me if im ok? thanks lots im alright. sorted out my thinking and i began to accept the truth bit by bit. received many words or encouragements from various people. thank you guys, i appreciated it. thanks for letting me noe that tere are actually many ppl out tere tat really care for me and bother to show concern. rest assure, i will not give up. everyone moves on, so will i. i believe i will reach my final destination one day.
focusing on pw n chi now, at least i cn sercure 2 As for A lvls first.

2011-10-17T20:11:00.000-07:00

today is the worst day in my 17 years of life. i believe i will never ever forget todae. my feeling was right, jus tat everything jus double cfm it. n on 17 nov it will be a triple cfm. last nite i keep telling myself i wunt cry. but todae im the first to cry in class. perhaps its becoz the first paper is maths. i put high hopes on maths. n i thought i noe how to do. but it turn out tat everything seems to be wrong. my 1st u graded paper of the day. following up were all u graded. this time i literally obtain straight Us alrdy. i couldnt control my tears it jus flow out naturally. many consoled me. my classmates, my friends, my teachers. thanks alot but i tink i still need time to accept the reality. its jus show me tat miracle doesnt exist god doesnt help. everything depend on me, myself and still me. i asked myself, is it a mistake all the while? has it been a mistake since the very first day i step into jc?

the hour before dawn is always the darkest

2011-10-16T23:38:00.000-07:00

was pretty busy for the past few days. pw everyday. finally gt all the fliming part done. rush down to flim on fri as my grpmate is unable to convince the auntie. so me n 2 others headed down to cck. finally convinced n fliming was smooth. while the other 2 flim another busker at yishun too. den ytd had meeting agn. frm morning till evening. did another part of fliming and yay done. but problems arise agn. unable to view the video frm my comp. zzz so aft alot of trouble now i finally get hold of the videos.

went shopping with mummy n bro todae. headed to bugis. arghh dun like the sim lim tere so freaking hot n stuffy. i cant help but keep complaining coz of the heat n the crowd. ppl literally pushing u ard. next stop is bugis junction love air con hehe. bro bought a bag expensive sia. den mummy keep ask me buy. firstly its expensive, secondly i dun need it, thirdly its nt my cup of tea. i bought a wrist band instead. ;) next stop city hall. went to havaianas flip flop for me n bro. n went to mark n spencer to buy gummies. yum yum..

tmr is the day. well tere's a saying: "the hour before dawn is always the darkest"
how true. before dawn arrives, we always faced darkest. n many times its the darkness that makes us grow. i wish i dun haf to go thru the difficult path before i cn really learn.

getting further

2011-10-13T22:45:00.000-07:00

another long torturous day in sch. was so tired that i cant even concentrate. thank god todae is mostly going thru of ans for promos without the papers. everyone was asking tchers how they fare n stuffs. but i dun haf the courage to do so. becoz im scare.i still wish to stay ignorant even though the feeling of getting retain is getting stronger each n everyday. the pathway to get promoted seems to get longer n further each day. mon will be the day. the day tat i will constantly get heart attacks. i hope i will be able to hold bac my tears if i were to retain.
i never felt so scare in my life. this is worst than o lvl's.

2011-10-12T17:53:00.000-07:00

had a super tiring day ytd, end sch ard 3. den aft lunch went to tour ard singapore frm the west to the central alighting at almost every stations to look for busker. yet we found none. we went to town n alot places which u will usually find them, but tere jus isnt any of them. reach home ard 9+ den aft bathing, dinner n stuff 11+ gonna 12 alrdy. pack bag, do bio, do till 3am coz brain nt really functioning well.
todae i went to sch looking like a zombie. n aft going thru paper 1 for bio todae n the paper 1 for chem ytd, i had a stronger feeling of the bad news. i really do hope they go n moderate, i really want to get promoted. i dun wanna stay in J1 n seeing the rest get promoted happily.
todae assembly i gt my medal. nice, gold n shiny haha. alright. time to get bac to work.
arghh its really sucky. is like exam jus over, yet i need to work very hard for pw, chi n also new chps of other subjects when i dun even noe my marks. all the studying process is like coming bac.

victory is sweet

2011-10-10T20:51:00.000-07:00

went to sch to waste time for the entire morning. had pilates which is smth like yoga, but it seems to be more like physical training. stretch here n tere, pain sia! but aft tat all my muscle were in a relax mode. had some cheer practice. den follow by lunch break. check chi paper aft tat. arghh gt B only n my compo really really sux! first time in my life i pass compo by 1 mark only! so disappointed. todae resume the uncomplete inter house games. awesome had a sweet victory. my house gt 1st! but i noe i din really fight for every ball coz im tired. i must make sure i dun commit the same mistake agn, becoz no matter how tired i am, i must always tink of my teammate fighting n if i slacken, they haf to do more. anyway victory is sweet. i had never think tat we could go so far, becoz i din win anything before for this type of events.
lesson resume tmr, im really scare. nt very sure if they are going to go thru the papers tmr.

2011-10-09T23:03:00.000-07:00

disappear for two whole days. friday i spend the more than half the day under the bright hot sun + on n off rain storm. had interhouse games competition. participated in 3v3 gals bball. for once i haf hope in winning for these type of competition. was playing wif all the sweat n tiredness. suddenly the rain storm came and everything had to be postpone to tmr. all thks to the sun i had a nice headache tat day. home, eat, bath n sleep all the way till morning.

ytd ard 8+am woke. meet pw grp mates at 10am at bugis. went to the national library building outside bugis junction n cope ourselves in tere for more than 4 hrs to do research. wanna find busker for video yet agn tere isnt any. everytime cant find them one lei! home, rest, din wanna go out for dinner so waited at home for them to buy bac for me. n for no reason my stomach pain like dk wad. like everything inside was clump together. worst than cramp sia. in the end aft vomitting n several diarrhoea feel much better.

todae i spend the entire day sleeping n eating. sleep, eat, sleep, eat totally living life like a pig. so enjoyable. hehe. sch agn tmr. sigh. so reluctant to go sch. only wanna attend the part aft 1pm. coz 1pm den check chi paper, den follow by resuming interhouse. frm morning 8am till 1pm is jus boring enrichment. n i din sign up for anything coz tat time i was on mc. n the tcher in charge jus anyhow include my name to some yoga thinggy. yuck! means tmr im gonna haf some yoga session -.-'

2011-10-06T23:59:00.000-07:00

meet up wif my awesome grp of friends. went to sakura at clementi woods follow by pool agn. so for 2 consecutive days, i spend lots of $$ in buffet n pool. enjoy every moment spent wif them. this grp of friends are colours in my life. really feel its a bless to know them :)

spend the whole of ytd worrying abt my results. but i realise all the worrying are pointless. wads done cant be undone. reflected on myself ytd. i gt nth to blame. i might regret nt starting early, but everything is over, its too late. all i cn do now is to wait patiently for 17 nov. n to accept the outcome bravely no matter wad happens. everyone leads their life differently. n nt every life haf the same amount of luck, same amount of knowledge, same amount of things. although tere are many setbacks in my life, i believe one day it will be smoother. i dun consider myself very lucky, neither am i nt lucky. becoz no matter how many setbacks i haf faced in the past, i still manage to get a path out of it, tats y im still here todae. so no matter how dark the path ahead will be, i believe i will see light one day.

a dark path ahead

2011-10-05T20:58:00.000-07:00

todae is my promos last paper. dun feel gd at all. i tink i shuld mentally prepare that i will retain. the path ahead me seems dark, tere's no sight of light. feel as though im trap in a dark dark cave, lost inside n cant find a opening out. tere's nobody, no sound, no help. jus darkness.

i went ahead to pool, to haf sakae buffet wif my friends. although deep down i dun feel gd at all. shall adjust my mood n continue moving ahead no matter how dark the path gonna be like. although i still hope tat i wunt retain but chances are low. better prepare myself now than unable to accept the reality when it really happens.

2011-10-02T17:24:00.000-07:00

我又回来了！a short update on my two ultra slacking days. fri was bio paper. although i tink i screwed it. but still im like suffering frm a big mental breakdown. was very very very tired. so right aft dinner n i slept frm 8pm till the next morning 10am. n tat goes 1 fine day for revision. ytd, woke tried to study but i spend most of the time on the tv instead. last nite i study math trying hard to memorise the formula in the end i sleep wif my lecture notes till this morning. arghhh so yea i spend 2 whole days sleeping but i still yearn for more hehe. todae much much more productive. by right im suppose to start doing maths revision papers alrdy. but i realise its better for me to memorise the formula first instead. so im left wif a few more chps to go. den i cn finally start my papers. hopefully tonight i cn start reading my chem lecture notes den tmr i cn do chem tys since they gif a big hint that 80% of mcq n 50% paper 2 is frm tys. if im able to rmb every single ans for those i tink i cn secure a C grade? hope so. but still never overestimate my ability.

seems like my post for the pass 1 mth is all abt promos revision n studying. hmm i tink this will be the last one on my promos revision coz 3 more days. 3 more days n im free frm studying for a moment. coz gt to work on project agn. cant wait to meet up wif my peeps. hehe so excited to meet them up n haf some fun!

2011-09-30T14:31:00.000-07:00

feel so demoralize. this few days i had 4 papers. eng gp hmm shuld be okie bahs. chi the compo is no gd. but paper 2 shuld be able to pull it bac. i hope my A for chi still remains. as for geo i study real hard for it though i started very very late like the day before the paper? but i tried my best to memorise every single details, so i hope i still cn at least get a D so i cn cover up my previous failed tests. bio todae seriously spend so much time yet i realize nth really goes into my brain. yes i did memorise rmb it alrdy, but so wad? during exam nt all manage to be transcribe to that piece of paper tat determines my score. furthermore its really hard. or mayb i jus din put in enuff effort. my last hope to get promoted is maths n chem. i need to score for both in order to get promoted becoz i noe tere's no hope in bio anymore. it seems like im gonna disappoint my bio tcher agn.

2011-09-25T13:51:00.000-07:00

nev felt so uncertainty, nev felt so uneasy. tmr marks the start of promos exam. my preparation? 0 subjects done. arghh, i really feel like finding a wall and bang my head. wad am i really thinking? i feel the fear, i feel the presure, i noe wad i need to do. but i seems to be slacking. is tere any means to make me really wake up!!

2011-09-22T23:25:00.000-07:00

bac to express my thoughts. coz only this little space allows me to rant n feel at ease. din spend the past few days wisely. progression slows down by quite alot. todae is thurs n for this four days only 2 chps are covered. n i tink i start to forget some details of the previous chps. n die still gt 3 more subjects yet to touch! most irritating part is when im alrdy so busy, i still had to complete my projectwork n hand in on the dateline. dk wads wrong with the mindset of the sch system. i better buck up. im really very very very afraid right now. never felt so lost before. promotion has never been a problem to me in the past until the very day i step into pjc. everything seems to be in a big big mess, everything just dun goes well. i lost count of how many failures i had. i lost count of how many times i screwed up things. but afterall, these are jus ranting to release some burden in my mind. im nt gonna give up. i dun believe i cant do it! some ppl think that i made the wrong choice upon entering jc, even my parents ask me if i were to retain, do i want to consider switching to poly? my ans will always be a no. i will continue the fight becoz if i were to give up i feel very 不甘心!

2011-09-19T21:04:00.000-07:00

todae was a tiring day. the only relaxing time is pe n follow by a short 1 hr break coz maths tcher din come. booked consultations wif 2 tchers for bio n geo. hmm i tink i shuld be able to understand more bah although it seems quite scary but for promos shuld jus go for it! hmm i tink i will go for isolation for the next few days. so bloggie will be rather dead.

2011-09-18T19:58:00.000-07:00

woohoo! i had the most productive weekend, or rather most productive day in the whole entire yr! slept quite late last night, only manage to cover 1 chp of bio last night. this morning i woke and study all the way till 6+pm and i covered 4 chps! although tere is still a long long way till i complete all my chps for promos, but hmm i will make sure the same determination last for another 2 weeks! haish i kinda of regret nt starting earlier! now i cn only make full use of the remaining time n make sure everything turns out fine.
last night went out for dinner, aunt told me its okie if this promos din turn out well. even if i decided to switch to poly its okie. my mother told me tat too. they tell me no matter wads the route, as long as in the end i reach my distination. i feel even more guilty aft hearing. i feel tat i had let everyone down. i dun wanna switch my route! i will make sure i cover my jc life within 2 yrs. or rather im left wif 1 yr n a few more mths!

2011-09-18T02:59:00.000-07:00

blah blah blah. woke den went to jp alone, enjoying my meal, went to popular to find tys solution book and next stop was buying bag. although the time is rather short, but enjoying spending time alone hehe. sounds like so emo galxz. home n intended to nap den study. but it turn out tat i slept for 4 freaking hrs! arghh so now must pay bac! i better complete chap 2 n 3 by tonight!

2011-09-15T00:21:00.000-07:00

todae is nt a gd day. although is it suppose to be short but tere is maths remedial which makes me wait from ard 2pm till 3++ the heat in the afternoon gave me a headache n till now its still stuck in my head. jus now when i reach home ard 6 i pop one panadol and nap for 30 min. den work on pw till 10+. was so hungry but did nt stop for dinner. coz had to rush finish so my leader cn do the editing. n being an editor is nt an easy job. feel so bad tat i send her at 10+. conclusion i spend the entire day attending sch and do pw. haish gt to be super efficient frm tmr onwards, if nt how to finish my revision within 11 days? im done complaining abt how sucky my life is. but to keep my mind positive, i shuld jus do well for promos den enjoy my slightly free days. coz aft promos schedule will be less tight, although they say tere will be intensive chi n pw. chi wad cn we do other than more compos n ws? so is jus like sec hehe. pw other than rushing thru drafts n preparing for presentation nth else alrdy. so yea the tough days will pass by very fast. :))

2011-09-13T23:48:00.000-07:00

had been staying up late ever since the start of the yr. well todae is like the 2nd day of term 4 which is nth but an indicator that tells me exam are really round the corner, and im nt only facing problems wif insufficient time for revision coz tere are problems like i had to still do my pw work if nt will had to meet principal or wadever. although todae i reached home ard 6+ but haf an hour or so breaks are nt acceptable. till this time which is currently 1145 i still haven finish my work, nt to mention revision or editing my pw. seems like im gonna suffer frm a sleepless night tmr, coz pw will definitely take up my time... all i wish now is be fully prepared for promos, get it done and had a acceptable score to allow me to promote and strike even harder for next yr n starts enjoying life aft a lvls :) alright end of my rantle time to get bac to wad im suppose to do.

2011-09-12T22:32:00.000-07:00

mid autumn festival todae. but im nt celebrating it. this yr im stuck wif smth agn. 2 yrs ago, it was becoz of end of yr exam. last yr was becoz of o lvl. this yr was becoz of promos. arghhh its nev ending!! sigh, worst still is needa do chem tys. 2 chps to be handed in tmr. gt to be kidding me. how cn i possibly complete all? nt when i had to come out reasons for every single mcq qns!! dun understand y tere is still tonnes of hw given when im only left wif 2 weeks to promos yet i had nt study a single thing yet! how cn i even start when i cant even finish all these pile of work? no idea wad the tchers are thinking. so we r suppose to do our hw n nt revision? n wad cn be worst when u still haf to hand in ur pw drafts when u r left wif 2 weeks to promos? drafts are nt even impt, wad matters is the final work wad, rushing thru everything.....................

if only life is like driving, when u go to the wrong way u cn always find a u-turn. but sadly no, tere's no turning bac anymore.

2011-09-11T23:24:00.000-07:00

its jus another unearthly timing. i realize i seems to be more awake at night, perhaps im an owl in my previous life. haha. staying up at night is (Y) to me, y? becoz i get to enjoy time alone, enjoying the nice cooling dark night with the stars and the bright moon company. tired of complaining of the stuffs undone. so shall nt complain while i jus haf to do it and strike it off. last night i finally manage to complete my tutorials finally catching up with the others. the satisfaction of completing smth is undescribable. gonna plan my everyday schedule well.
todae is the last day of hols or rather im left wif less than an hour. happy that i did manage to rest well. so tmr will be a brand new term, gonna be bac to sch wif my full of drive and hopefully my determination and discipline level will grow and give me more drive to strike harder!!

2011-09-11T01:17:00.000-07:00

study plan fail agn, only manage to complete another hw and i finally did the cover page for my project aft much procrastination but luckily it turn out to be alright. spent quite alot of time doing the bio summary hw. tats y my plan failed. im really panicking now! its aft 12 which means its sunday now. and i officially left wif 2 weeks to promos yet i haf started on nth at all! jus wad am i trying to do? retain another yr? hell no! im nt gonna walk that pathway. i dun want to! so fed up wif myself! y cant i be more consistent in my work? y cant i finish work before hand? but wads the point of saying all these now? it is jus meaning less talking without action.

2011-09-09T18:24:00.000-07:00

hey ppl its friday! but todae is nt TGIF. it shuld be huh friday alrdy uh? 1 week jus zoom past me sia. i said i wanna do revision but till now nt done yet! this is nt good. well but i really started my hw last nite. thankful i completed 1 although tere's still more. so gonna catch up todae! aim is to finish as much revision for at least bio by sunday. shuld nt procrastinate coz i will end up slacking away.

was so angry last night becoz of some shameless coward! dun even wanna talk abt him. cant believe he still cn say this type of things! count urself lucky that u wasnt standing right infront of me, if nt i will treat u wif a tight slap wif a few punches!

2011-09-07T23:09:00.000-07:00

went to sch in the morning to clarify smth. woke so early yet the meeting doesnt last longer than 15 mins. went to meet hs and zq @ lot 1 for lunchie. aft tat we had a last min decision to head down to timah for pool. nt too bad, it went rather well, but now my hands are aching from the pool & bowling session i had attended. had a fruitful day with jus entertainment, so i guess its really time for me to work hard. no more going out for the next few days!!! gonna conqure my notes and make sure everything is lay nicely in my brain and all the information i need will be at my finger tips!

i realize im able to think better when im alone, able to be more clear minded without disturbance. i had never been so clear minded. in the past i was never clear about wad i really want, perhaps for once during the o levels period im determine to get into a jc? tats all. i realize i dun really think that much about the future. i jus do wad i tink its right at that very point of time. well i can say so far i had been safe or rather ppl call it lucky. frm psle to o lvl to now, although things wasnt really smooth all the time neither was my result super gd, but i jus manage to make it although its jus borderline. was tat wad ppl call lady luck?? no idea either. i tink i have grown up, able to think of wad i want, knowing the luck tat i known for years will nt be always tere. tere seems to be more downs than ups in my life. ofcoz im nt refering to material stuffs. but im rather comfortable to haf all these downs becoz they jus make me reflect n think of ways to improve on it and learn from my own mistakes. it really aided my way of thinking ;)

2011-09-07T04:09:00.000-07:00

boo! its currently 4.05am so y am i still awake? hehe actually i jus woke ard 12am jus now. was so freaking tired coz ytd i only slept for 3 hours n i went to sch. worst is sleep so late yet nt completing work. feel uneasy but still went to sleep coz cant take it anymore. stayed in sch aft lesson for project work, do till we almost faint! reach home in the evening and went straight to sleep. feels gd to haf sufficient sleep ;) so yes i spend a day sleeping so other than the pw work tat i did, the rest was still nt touch! arghh running out of time!!! okok i better sleep soon coz gt to go bac to sch agn tmr for a 15 min consultation to clarify smth for pw. it jus mean i had to wake up super duper early!!

2011-09-05T20:52:00.000-07:00

todae is the the official day tat my 1 week "holiday" starts. but 1st day of my "holiday" i haf to reach sch at 8am have lesson all the way till 3pm. this is gonna repeat agn tmr. so now can ur understand y my holiday is in invert commas? oh well todae had geo lecture which is nt very productive, 1.5 hrs, 1 chp. okie luh, a big improvement for the lecturer coz her past speed was 1 hr 3 pages. follow by chem test, which i study n memorise like hell, but i mixed things up. so made some mistakes here n tere. sometime gd is i tink i understand more n mange to do more qns than the past few tests?? okie trying to console myself only. bio consultation next, nt too bad tcher was very clear, i learn things so (Y), bio lecture was mad rush the last 5 pages i cant believe the tcher jus ask us to read on our own :@ gt bac test, i tink this is the worst i had ever did, expected that i will fail but din expect it to be so trashy. so trying hard to convince myself to nt be demoralize n learn frm my mistake.

2011-09-04T14:27:00.000-07:00

sigh, im so sian chem test tmr, nt even prepared at all. okie i gonna study NOW! ytd spend time on comp, sleep, eat and some studying only. todae i tink the routine will be the same, jus tat i had to chiong studying. printer get cranky cant solve it till now. the canon helpdesk is nt even open coz it only open on mon to fri. dk wads wrong with the printer wifi cant detect at all, but if plug in cable jiu can. so stupid sia. meanwhile make do wif pluging in n out of cable bah. get so fed up whenever things spoil. awhile is comp, awhile printer, awhile fone -.-' y nowadays electrical appliances so weak?? alright shall stop complaining abt my miserable life. gonna move on........

2011-09-03T01:31:00.000-07:00

went out to ikea wif J n A. awesome day wif food, furnitures that make us so excited n go wow wow wah wah!! hehe. had meatballs n pasta. walk the whole entire ikea. so excited seeing the nice nice sofa n bed. i tink we place out butt on every single sofa n bed we saw! hehe. tere is a few sofa, chair n bed that make me woo sleepy coz so comfortable! i found two study table tat i like. but dk if my parents will buy it for me or nt, its nt expensive though. went to queensway shopping mall aft tat. leg ache like siao, no idea y although we spend most of the time sitting in ikea. slack at mac den bus+train bac. went to J hse to play monopoly deal. nt fun! i prefer the board de hehehe. home n rot. how i wish i cn spend everyday liddat. whole day eat, walk, shop, eat, walk and eat den home rot n sleep. so shiok sia! but no tat nt gonna happen any sooner, coz im left wif 3 weeks n 2 days to promos. and shit! i haf yet to start a single bit on my revision! holy holy. okie i will really start tmr, is a must! coz the dates are really scaring the hell out of me! i dun wanna fail, i dun wanna retain!! nononono! alright time for some video n some games before i sleep. todae shall be the last day i slack liddat! till promos end.

2011-09-01T19:46:00.000-07:00

i lead a boring life every single day thus i gt nth much to post for the last two days. hmm or rather im too overwhelm by the amount of work i haf to complete for the past two days. alright todae went to pj for tcher's day concert, wow! its cool, so much cooler than dunearn's concert. but i suggest they shuld jus go straight to the concert n skip the aces day workout coz its a total failure. aft sch ard 11+ close to 12 den end sch. chiong down to dunearn with all the dunearnite in pioneer. reach sch we were like zzzzzzzzzzzz dunearn become so colourful, orange, green, red, white n nt forgetting the red roof top. the colour combi is sure yucky! only manage to see a few tchers coz most of them went off already. had a nice catch up wif a few opalians n ofcoz ms sim ;)
headed jp wif al n J. enjoy the time spent wif them. although we feel tired hehe.

headed home at evening time. called home, nobody buy takeaway as usual. so yea bought back. i find that tere is communication problem, buying takeaway is nt the difficult part. the most difficult part is to ask them wad they want. somemore had to make 3-4 calls jus to ask wad they want. reason being, most of them at home except my mother. but they simply refuse to ask the rest n aft saying wad they want for themselves they jus hang the fone without allowing me to complete my sentence. seriously this is very very irritating!

reach home n i gt scolded. for buying 1 extra meal well, all these haf to thks to the poor communication between u guys wad, wad had it gt to do wif me??? u ppl r the one that assume must buy/ dun buy. so who's at fault?? next moment there r more screaming, awhile father dk scream wad. den next daniel scream, next grandma scream at daniel saying that he pee alot till overflow the diapers, well as though one cn control not to pee??? den next also dk wad grandma trying to say. she keep saying we dirty the hse, but hello, nobody is at home for the entire afternoon we only bac frm sch in the evening lei! funny huh? no idea wads the problem with these ppl but i noe smth, that is it is impossible to even haf 5min of silence in this hse. -.-'

2011-08-29T17:30:00.000-07:00

i lead a dull boring life for the past few days, but i like hehe. how often do i get the chance to jus rot ard do meaningless things like playing fb games? but this type of happiness doesnt last long, coz had to get bac to work n prepare for sch on wed. follow by that irritating "hols" which i had to go bac to sch n nt forgetting the ultra most irritating promotional exam at the end of this mth. sigh.
morning till now, was so fascinated by all the fb games, videos and stuffs, my work is still pill tere, nt appealing at all. like duh! haha. going date most of them now. so i cn enjoy my 9pm last ep of On The Fringe. last ep liao. meaning no more rui en show till dec arrive :(( nevm it jus means its time for me to get bac to mugging for promos and get promoted ofcoz.
haish tink my blog is sick of all the number of times the word 'promos' appear. im bored of it too, but wad to do? had to make it appear to remind myself not to slack mahs. poor life, poor me.
flu doesnt seems to get better aft all the pills i ate. cough too, aft all the yucky mixture i drank. hope i recover soon, i wanna my voice bac!!

2011-08-28T14:06:00.000-07:00

boo! fri was horrible, went to sch keep yawning, coz sleep for 2 days den cannt sleep liao. bac to sch keep sneezing, nose block, ear block. all thks to flu. dun like blocks, coz cnnt hear properly n cnnt breathe properly! fri was a long long day went home straight aft training, though i din train but im tired.
ytd was slacky. sleep n sleep den wake comp awhile den out, simply love this type of lifestyle. hehe. im a lazy pig :))) ytd was the presidential election day result was reveal in the midnight. haish nth in this world is fair so accept it bahs.
todae will be another slacky day, at first wanna go vivo with mummy, but in the end both of us also lazy to move so din go. shall do some work ltr, if nt next two days sure overloaded. but sian sian haish play first bah, ltr den do bah. hehe

2011-08-25T22:48:00.000-07:00

didnt attend sch todae. hmm its the second time for this term. previously was injured ankle, todae is sick. ok slept for 2 days, but nt very shiok, coz couldnt sleep well with all the runny nose n cough. runny nose seems to be recovering but nt my cough. zzz had to be bac to sch tmr, so reluctant... but still cant miss too much lesson. medicine taste awful and make me drowsy. worst is it makes my food all taste bitter. YUCK! feel so lazy now. still had to do work which makes me zzzz.. hehe. lazy gal. alright shall nt complain anymore. gonna write chi compo :)

2011-08-24T22:24:00.000-07:00

heylo. im sick agn.... this morning really dun wanna go sch. but coz gt actual bio spa, die die also must drag myself to sch. was feeling so miserable during spa. used up 1 whole pck of tissue... luckily todae's lesson is nt alot. i slept throughout the entire chem lesson. was so sick tat i sign out of sch right aft chem. waited for dad to send me home, coz had to contact parents to sign out. den dad say wanna pick me up. reach home, i went to sleep immediately. 2+ go see doc. get myself mc for todae n tmr. jus in case i cant attend sch tmr. but dun tink im going coz im having a fever now. took medicine n continue sleeping. so i literally slept for the entire day. dun like to be sick although dun feel like going to sch. but still i rather go to sch den to be sick, coz cant stand all the blocked nose, sore throat pain, fever that make me dizzy n nt forgetting the cough that come frm sore throat. its jus irritating...

2011-08-23T18:30:00.000-07:00

im tired. i tink the word 'tired' appears in every of my post. hehe. sch as per normal. jus tat brain wasnt working well coz i slept at 1.30am last nite. trying very hard to pay attention during bio lecture. gp was jus copying non stop. had geo lecture test todae. either jus pass or fail. coz the ans didnt seems quality enuff n i made a mistake alrdy. maths was horrible, 1 hr lecture go thru 3 qns only. straight aft tat was chem. i did my work, but still trying very hard to listen.... went to pw straight. see tere is only a break in the morning. tcher discuss, meaning we need to edit quite some thing to make it up to standard.
apart frm sch, i have been sneezing todae n my throat hurts. feeling miserable... but still no cnnt be sick coz tmr gt actual bio spa. gonna rest n start working like a cow agn.

2011-08-22T23:09:00.000-07:00

ytd was an awfully busy day for me. working since 11.30am all the way till 2am. the only break i had was going out for dinner. well i deserve it? who ask me nt to do anything on sat? but still glad tat i manage to complete 80% of my work. while the 20% had to go to my maths.

surprisingly todae morning tere is no sign of tiredness though still very reluctant to go to sch. thought i will be slightly later todae coz dad was in a jam outside bro sch. but im nt late ;) chinese lesson is slacky like always, find it the same as dss haha, coz chinese lesson is always like nth much, either compo? worksheet? if nt it will be go through of textbook passages. tats all. pe was slightly tougher todae, especially more tough for me todae coz went for pe with an empty stomach. lesson learnt: eat smth before pe. if nt i will feel very sick as though im gonna faint. at first wanna sign out n go home, in the end did nt, coz the thought of my bio tcher going thru SPA for the actual one this wed, force myself to stay. luckily everything turn out fine. stayed bac awhile to finish up my chem with two others coz we did in grp hehe.
reach home and went to sleep. but like always overshot the timing. so i woke at ard 8. idling here n tere till now. so gonna start my work aft i post this.........

2011-08-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

heylo. ytd was not a very good day. lessons was alright everything is great but nt till training arrives. ran 8 rounds continously. feel very sry tat i drag the whole team down. i will try my very best to endure. aft training went to shoot 100 balls and call it a day. at first wanna rush home, coz bro text me n say he nt at home need someone to buy dinner for ah ma. i the end i called home n ah ma say gt cook daniel's food n she gt cook a bit extra for herself. so called mummy n she say she buy her own food. so join my friends for dinner. at gombak. one of them called our CT (form tcher) n ask if she wanna join us for prata coz she lives tere. so funny. in the end she say she gt dinner alrdy. so we went ahead. ordered 2 but i ate 1 n take away the other. coz i suddenly feel very sick. like headache n feel like vomitting. tink is coz run too much den the heat all rush up n hungry den eat in rush. lesson learnt next time aft running, walk ard to cool down, den wash face to cool down and eat slowly even u r very hungry!!! feel so sick but still manage to reach home safely. aft bathing all tat feel so much better. den on comp last nite, in the end every 5 mins the comp turn to blue screen and auto restart. so fed up.

todae woke early and send my comp to the repair shop at lot 1 bus interchange tere. the person say gonna reformat everything. so yea. bro comp finally haf microsoft so next time i still cn do work even anything happen to my lappy. so now finish downloading and installing everything alrdy! happy gal :)) time for me to do work alrdy. so much to be done, but so little time

2011-08-18T23:28:00.000-07:00

lesson were awesome todae, coz manage to catch all the things i need to noe. but only nt paying attention during chem lecture. arghh suddenly very sleep lor! pe was fun! went to friend hse to celebrate his bdae. its nt very hard to drag someone away hehe. had yami yogurt den headed to his house. and yogurt excitingly welcome me with lots of barks that scare the hell out of me! waited for pizza. and had alot of funny moments! and thank god my dear chem tcher extended the dateline for the tys qns. if nt i cfm die. feel so tired todae...

2011-08-18T00:10:00.000-07:00

another busy hectic day. morning go sch do last min revision for bio mock spa. first lesson jiu spa liao. scary. so do n do. in the end like quite relax haha shall wait n see the result for this mock. and tink cn roughly noe how i will fare during the actual one next week. so pw lecture was zzzz all abt how to present for oral presentation exam at year end. chem was alright for once, and i did my tutorial hehe... i tink i getting more n more guai and more prompt in doing work alrdy. a gd start? i tink so. now i must be more efficient. den + more prompt i tink i will do better! concert was nt too bad tink better than dss haha. attended maths remedial lesson. woah the tcher is (Y) at least i learn and understand smth :)) alright time for more work to be done!

2011-08-16T17:04:00.000-07:00

heylo. the two days of sch is nt too bad. ytd was a total of waste of time to go sch. tchers din come for 2 lessons, so we had 2.5 hrs of break. den chinese like slack only, pe dun even need brain to think, the only lesson is bio. went for consultation or rather accompany ppl to go for consultation and listen here n tere. dinner n home. rest, watch tv, study for chem spa den sleep. first time so early sleep for a sch day.
todae feel so energetic, go sch lectures aft lectures, arghh regretted for nt bringing jacket. was still deciding to bring or nt to bring this morning. wrong choice, in the end i suffered for like the entire day coz i haf 4 lectures!!!! cold like freezer. chem actual SPA. finally cleared it, i tink i din make a mistake. hopefully my accuracy is right, coz always lose marks tere... happy gal, end sch early todae agn, coz pw din come.

living in my own world

2011-08-15T00:29:00.000-07:00

feel so frustrated and irritated. out of a sudden realize that everybody is doing written report. but my tcher did nt even mention abt it last week. n the dateline is upcoming thur. hey wad is this? everything turn out to be so rush. chem actual SPA coming up on tue. my work nt all are completed. drag n drag. arghh i really need to wake up n face reality. no idea wad am i trying to do? like preparing to die anytime. at this very moment, i dun understand 1 whole chp of maths. haven start revision and exam is jus round the corner. i noe how impt the promos exam is to me. coz it determines whether i retain or promote. but wad haf i done? practically nth. seriously feel that my life is like rubbish now. so disorganize.
ok shall nt dwell on it, better find help for maths tmr. gonna complete every single piece and revise everyday. i hope all these are nt jus speaking, i wanna turn all into action!!